Gender *

First question, before we get into the good stuff!

What are you most afraid of when it comes to intimacy and relationships? *

Letting someone all the way in and being deeply hurt by them

Ending up alone, never finding someone who truly stays

Committing to the wrong person and realising it too late

Losing myself, my space or my freedom in the relationship.

*In the questions throughout this quiz, choose the answer that most strongly fits you based on both your current and past dating and relationship history

In your ideal relationship, you would most want... *

Deep closeness, lots of time together, sharing a life

Space to be fully myself, without pressure to be anything else

Someone who truly gets me, and feeling completely safe

Certainty that we are genuinely right for each other

"When in relationship conflict I tend to..." *

Start noticing all their flaws, but I also don’t want them to leave

Get anxious to repair things, I can't settle until we're okay again

Go quiet and pull back, it gets too loud in me and I need space to think

Retreat to protect myself, while being unable to stop thinking about them

Answer based on times when you are actually genuinely distressed.

"When I feel like a relationship might be ending, I..." *

Pull away, though I still want them to keep wanting me

Feel strangely calm, part of me had already started leaving in anticipation

Freeze up, unsure of what I'm supposed to feel or do next

Fight to save it no matter what, endings hurt too much

Answer based on a relationship that you hoped would work out.

"When I need to regain emotional balance while in a relationship, I..." *

Get torn between wanting support and feeling I should handle it alone

Go do my own things, my own world is where I steady myself

Reach out for support, I settle fastest when someone hears my feelings

Step back and analyse everything (while secretly wanting them to stay close)

"When a partner asks for more space I feel..." *

Relieved, because I value my own space too

Suspicious, I can't help but wonder what it means about our compatibility

Scared, it kind of feels like I'm starting to lose them

Relieved and unsettled at once, I don't know what I should feel

"I typically view increasing intimacy in a relationship as..." *

Something I crave and fear in equal measure, closeness is where I've been hurt

The whole point, I want as much as possible and worry about losing it

Nice, but it can become a lot, I like keeping some of me to myself

Something I want, as long as they are the right person

"When I have a chronically unmet need in a relationship, I tend to..." *

Question the whole relationship, if it was right they would know how to meet it

Keep finding ways to bring it up until I feel they've heard me

Hint or go quiet, hoping they'll notice without me having to risk asking

Meet it myself, I'd rather not make it a thing or have to depend on them

Your Current Relationship Status *

"When a date with someone I liked doesn't lead to a second one,..." *

I keep replaying it over thinking about what it could have been, it's hard to let go

I feel strangely relieved and profoundly hurt at the same time

It's fine, I just get on with my own life

I focus on their flaws to make myself feel better

If you are in a relationship, think back to when you were dating.

"My strongest desire from a relationship is..." *

A deep and lasting bond filled with closeness and quality time together

A partner who genuinely meets my standards for the relationship I most want

To feel deeply safe with someone, fully seen and never having to be on guard

Respectful partnership that honours my need for space and to open up on my own timing

"My friends would most likely describe my approach to relationships as..." *

Self-contained, they'd say I keep people at arm's length, maybe more than I realise

Warm but guarded, they know my relationships stress me more than I let show

All heart, they'd say I give a lot and can lose myself in my relationships

Discerning, they'd probably say picky, they know I’m looking for the right person

Country

This is the last question!

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Mainstream education tends to speak about the dysfunction of attachment styles, yet each style also contains powerful gifts that can be unlocked for healthy, thriving, and evolving partnerships.

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