Make a list of everything you’re currently doing or providing for your son? (Examples would include housing, money, internet, food, transportation, cell phone, insurance, gym membership, credit card access, online account access, clothing, toiletries etc.)

What resources does your son currently have that are truely his? (Examples woud be money in the bank, a car in his name, credit cards in his name, computer, scholarships he has been awarded, or employment. Where possible, quantify the value of these resources.)

While your intentions are meant to help your son, what you do for him/give him can sometimes unintentionally enable or fuel his regression. What boundaries are you prepared to set for your son moving forward? These boundaries should focus on what you do for him or provide him. Control your actions, not his. They should be straightforward and time-specific. The most impactful ones will have implementation today, not in the distant future. Three examples that happen to be the most transformative would be:

• I will not provide you access to the house from 9:00am-4:00pm.

• Rent will be due every Friday, it will go up each month.

• Your final move out date is _______.

Your son may respond to these boundaries with an emotional outburst disproportionate to the situation. This is just an impulsive coping strategy to survive.

Setting boundaries shifts the responsibility for your son’s life back onto his shoulders, encouraging him to take ownership of his actions. This is a crucial first step in changing the trajectory of his life, but it doesn’t solve all his problems.

Done! You've successfully completed the Forte Strong Parent Planner. Please use the same email you've used on previous Forte Strong applications & we'll email you a copy of your answers. Thank you!