When something feels “off” between you and someone close, what are you most likely to do first? *

Step in quietly and carry what needs to be carried so things stay stable

Start naming what needs to change so it can get better

Press for a clear conversation so it gets handled now

Keep it light and avoid tension until it passes

Pull back until you feel safe enough to re-engage

Respond immediately because you feel it strongly in the moment

People tend to rely on you most because you… *

Notice problems early and want things healthier

Speak up fast when something is wrong.

Keep things calm and help everyone get along.

Pay attention and protect trust carefully.

Take charge and move things toward a decision.

Stay steady and dependable no matter what is happening.

What usually happens to your tone when you feel stressed or misunderstood? *

It gets quiet because you’d rather not make it worse.

It gets firm because you want clarity and resolution.

It gets cautious because you feel exposed or unsafe.

It gets corrective because you see what needs to be fixed.

It gets short because you move into responsibility mode

It gets sharper and more emotional than you intended.

If you are hurt by someone, which response sounds most like you? *

You withdraw and create distance to protect yourself

You want to talk immediately because unresolved tension feels unbearable.

You keep it inside and try to move on without talking about it

You take care of what needs to be done and deal with feelings later

You start connecting dots and evaluating patterns

You react quickly because it lands as disrespect or rejection.

In relationships, your biggest frustration tends to be… *

Feeling dismissed, unheard, or talked over.

Lack of progress or people avoiding decisions.

Tension, awkwardness, or conflict in the atmosphere.

Feeling like you have to hold everything together.

Inconsistency or anything that makes trust feel shaky.

Repeating same issues without improvement.

When you need something from someone, you are most likely to… *

Ask directly and push for a clear answer.

Handle it yourself so the relationship does not get strained.

Minimize it and hope they notice without you saying much.

Explain what needs to change and why, so it improves.

Keep it to yourself until you know it is safe to share.

Say it strongly in the moment because it feels urgent.

After an argument or tense moment, what is most common for you? *

You stay on it until it feels fully resolved.

You try to smooth it over and move forward quickly.

You replay it and focus on what should have gone differently.

You pull back emotionally until you feel safe again

You take care of responsibilities and keep things functioning.

You feel it deeply and it takes time to calm down

What role do you often play in groups or family dynamics? *

The one who keeps peace and reduces tension

The one who watches carefully and trusts slowly.

The one who organizes, directs, and makes decisions.

The stable one who makes sure things are handled.

The one who calls out what needs to change.

The one who speaks up strongly when something feels wrong.

When you are disappointed, your internal narrative is most like… *

This keeps happening. Something has to change.

“That hit hard. Why would they do that?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have opened up.”

“I do not want conflict. It is fine.”

“We need to talk now so this doesn’t grow.”

“I should not need anything. I will just handle it.”

Which situation is most likely to throw you off? *

Someone is inconsistent and it creates uncertainty

People are stalling and you cannot get a clear answer.

Someone wants to have a hard conversation when you are not ready.

Someone’s tone feels disrespectful or dismissive.

Someone is emotional and expects you to carry the weight.

Things are messy but nobody wants to improve them.

Pick the sentence that describes you best. *

“I need clarity; I do not like loose ends.”

“I prefer peace, even if it means I keep some things to myself.”

“I am usually the one people lean on when things feel unstable.”

“I trust slowly because I have learned to protect my heart.”

“I feel things strongly, and it comes out quickly.”

“I can’t ignore what needs to be improved.”

When someone gives you feedback, you are most likely to… *

Move into action and fix it right away.

Ask questions, correct details, and clarify what you meant.

Shut down internally and share less going forward.

Agree or nod to keep the peace, even if you disagree.

Push for a clear plan so you know what happens next.

Take it personally and respond quickly if it feels unfair.

When conflict is happening, what is most true about you? *

You feel it intensely and respond with strong emotion

You want a decision and a path forward.

You step into responsibility and try to stabilize the situation.

You start protecting yourself and limiting what you share

You want to point out the real issue so it can improve.

You try to keep things calm and avoid escalation.

Which one is most like you when a relationship feels uncertain? *

“I keep things pleasant and hope it passes.”

“I lock in and become even more dependable.”

“I push for clarity because I need to know what we are doing.”

“I pull back until trust is re-established.”

“I react quickly because uncertainty feels threatening.”

“I start paying attention to what is wrong.”

What do you most want people to understand about you? *

“I do not like conflict, but I do care.”

“I push because I want clarity and progress.”

“I am doing my best to keep things stable.”

“I protect myself because I have been hurt before.”

“I want us to grow, not stay stuck.”

“I feel deeply, and that is why I respond strongly.”

If you had to pick one, what trips you up most often in relationships? *

Guarding yourself so much that connection gets blocked

Pressing for control or resolution too quickly.

Staying quiet when you should speak up.

Carrying too much and not asking for help.

Reacting fast when emotions rise.

Focusing on what is wrong more than what is working

Ken and Tabatha

Find Your Relationship Pattern and Grow From Here

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